Thursday, October 25, 2012

BREAKING: Emilio Estevez to Not Film 'Airborne 2.'



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Famous Hollywood writer/actor/director Emilio Estevez announced in Cincinnati today that he will be filming a family-friendly sports film that isn't the sequel to 1993's "Airborne."

CINCINNATI - During a press conference at Great American Ballpark today, Emilio Estevez announced that the new movie he planned to film in the city would in fact not be a sequel to Airborne.

Yesterday, local news outlets began to explode with news that Emilio Estevez, of the Mighty Ducks trilogy fame, would soon be revealing details about his intentions to film a movie locally. Estevez arrived in the Queen City today, announcing that his new film "Long Shot" will start filming here in early 2013. Thousands were disappointed to find out that this film will not be a sequel to the classic 1993 Cincinnati rollerblade drama.

"It's just not fair, you know?" said Bryce Leonard of Price Hill as he stood in his rollerblades outside the press conference. "It feels like we're never going to get emotional closure with the story of the classic characters from Airborne."

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- A scene from 'Airborne.'

Set in early 90's Cincinnati, Airborne tells the story of Mitchell Goosen - a fine haired "surfer bro" who comes to Cincinnati and breaks down barriers by uniting a scrappy group of caucasian rollerblading kids from an inner-city school. The film was critically acclaimed for tackling taboo subjects such as class warfare when the characters face off against "the preps" in a climactic race down "Devil's Backbone" - the Cincinnati landmark that was notorious for ending the lives of many local rollerbladers.

"We never added the movie to the top of our list, because it's simply better than any movie ever made. Ever." said Jim Minelli of the American Film Institute referring to his organizations "100 Greatest Movies of All Time" list. The film was notable for launching the careers of Jack Black, Seth Greene and superstar Shane McDermott.

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- Estevez on Channel 12 WKRC.

When wind of Estevez's announcement hit the press yesterday, rumors began swirling. Of the little information known at the time, what was known for sure was that the movie would be "sports themed." Almost immediately, Twitter and the internet were ablaze with speculation. "It seemed perfect, Estevez is the best guy to replace Shane McDermott as Mitchell Goosen" said Jonathan Woorly who runs WeDemandAirborne2.com. "Ever since Shane died from that heroine OD, I've always believed Estevez was the guy for the role!"

Edit: After publishing this article we were informed by Shane McDermott himself that he is in fact still alive. Sorry about that, Shane!

Lost in the shuffle of disappointment from today's announcement were the details of Estevez's new film, which will apparently be titled "Long Shot." Long Shot will tell the story of a former horse jockey who lives in Cincinnati and wants to get back into horse racing. A scene will be filmed at Great American Ballpark where the main character throws out the first pitch at a Reds game.

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- A still from the classic love speech scene at Cincinnati's Krohn Conservatory in 'Airborne.'

Anxious to cash in on the controversy, local news outlet WKRC spun Estevez's big day as a political deal when they said: "The candidates for President might wish they could promise what actor, director and writer Emilio Estevez promised Cincinnati today.  He is planning to create more than a thousand jobs when he films his new movie in the city." Lost in the shuffle were the facts that Cincinnati has been a hotbed for movies lately, recently being the setting for George Clooney's "The Ides of March."

Estevez is the first member of his family to visit the area since his coked out brother came to a few Reds games back in August. When asked about hopes for a Mighty Ducks 4, Estevez glared and said "stop blocking the sidewalk and leave me alone."

1 comment:

  1. "WeDemandAirborne2.com" hahaha I love your stuff!

    ReplyDelete