Friday, November 28, 2014

"Everything That Is Has Already Will Be" - Future Science Is Here to Teach You


The last Sunday of every month is a day to expand your mind, learn something new and discover what's been going on with science in the past, present and future.

- Future Science presenter (and heartthrob) Prof. Chris Weir hosting a presentation on "Politics."

In the annals of history, the world's greatest scientific discoveries have been presented on the grandest of stages. 

The splitting of the atom - dropped on Japan.

The female breast - Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Ways to solve world hunger that we'll just ignore - TED Talks.

"Which 'Mean Girls' character are you?" - Buzzfeed. 

In the heart of Cincinnati though, theres a scientific symposium where amazing discoveries are presented regularly.

- Many Future Science guests shop at Wal-Mart.

At MOTR Pub on the last Sunday of each month, Future Science Industries (a subsidiary of the world renown Monolith Corporation) presents their latest findings to an enthusiastic crowd (Full Disclosure: Queen City Discovery is a subsidiary of the Fox News Channel (which is a subsidiary of the Fox Entertainment Group (which is a subsidiary of 21st Century Fox (which is a subsidiary of the Monolith Corporation)))).

Four scientists from the top of their fields: Dr. Andy Gasper, Prof. Chris Weir, Dr. Keith Karl Spaeth and Dr. Logan Lautzenheiser have spent the past month researching, testing and preparing their presentations while you sat at home offering your opinion on the Ferguson situation to your Facebook friends.

- Monolith Corporation corporate tower in Cincinnati, Ohio. Image by: Randy "Weak Knees" Jasper

Unlike you, what they have to say matters. Tasked by their boss who occasionally calls in to the show, their topics have ranged from the latest findings in "Cryptozoology" (they found a real Sasquatch once), to exploring the depths of "Space" (how to mine the gasses of Uranus) and even analyzing the way in which we go about our political process. Specifically at the symposium on "Politics" there was an excellent presentation on our nation'a various political parties: Democrat, Republican, Pizza, After and Green Tea.

- Country star Clint Dupree making a special appearance at the Future Science look at "politics" back in August.

The good folks at Future Science aren't your ordinary, stuffy academics who listen to NPR and get the best parking spots at Community College's like NKU. They're down to earth, hip and cool - the kind of teachers who spin the chair around, sit on it backwards and "rap" about what's really going on. They often invite a cadre of guests to speak in support of their scientific findings. Guests such as country star Clint Dupree, who fell into a coma at 7:00 AM on September 11th, 2001 and woke up fourteen years later to record such hits as "New Orleans, I Swear There Used To Be A Levee Here," "Can't Wait to See Where All Our Surplus Money Gone" and "Lost Highway (Hank Williams Cover)."

- Climate Change isn't real, but Future Science is.

This week, the intrepid group will be offering up their findings on the study of "crime." 

Which wire do you cut to diffuse a bomb? 

Would robots make better police officers? 

Are handcuffs appropriate for criminals or just the bedroom? 

How exactly do we stop terrorists and keep freedom free?

- Local comedic favorite Slacks Holloway making an appearance at Future Science.

On Sunday November 30th at MOTR Pub in Over-The-Rhine, after you've heard Hurricane Hotpants play, Future Science will take the stage at 10:30 PM (or later depending on how quickly their experimental drug tests take). Take advantage of the drink specials to kill off brain cells that will make room for the knowledge you will receive. Everything you learned in high school or in your state's GED Equivalency classes will be shaken to the core as some of the Monolith Corporation's greatest minds show you a new way of thinking...

 ...and the future of science.

Also, it's free.

- America: love it or leave it.

Future Science Episode 7: Crime.
Sunday, November 30th, 2014
10:30 P.M. (Music by "Hurricane Hot Pants at 8:30 P.M.)
MOTR Pub - 1345 Main St, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202

"Like" Future Science of Facebook so that maybe these guys will be my friends.

"Great minds are hard to find."
- Dr. Steven Brule

Editorial Note: Some commenters have been saying that it's actually Dr. "Karl" Spaeth, but I'm super close friends with the guy and pretty sure it's "Keith." Nevertheless, the "correction" has been noted until I talk to Keith/Karl on Sunday.

1 comment:

  1. Great photos of my nephew and his friends. I'm so proud! Just so you know, it's actually "Karl" not Keith. Good luck on Sunday, Karl! Uncle Steve and I will have to make it down to one of your shows when it's not in such a bad part of town! XOXO